An obituary writing checklist helps you collect the details readers need while making space for the memories that show who the person was.
Use the steps below to build a thoughtful draft, then review it with family before sharing or submitting it.
Gather the essential information
Start with names, dates, and relationships.
These details anchor the obituary and help readers recognize the person.
Confirm spellings and dates with a reliable family source or personal record; do not rely on memory alone when a detail can be checked.
- Full name: Include the name the person used, along with a maiden name, nickname, or other name when appropriate.
- Age and dates: Confirm the date of birth and date of death.
Include age only if the family wishes to share it and the number is verified. - Place information: Add the person’s hometown or places they lived if these help tell their story.
- Family relationships: Identify close relatives by name and relationship, including a spouse or partner, children, parents, siblings, and other relatives the family wants to mention.
- Survivors and those who died earlier: Decide which relatives to name and how to describe the relationships consistently.
Families differ in what they consider private.
Ask before including sensitive information, and avoid assuming that every relative wants to be named publicly.
Choose the story the obituary should tell
An obituary is more than a list of milestones.
Select a few details that make the person’s life distinct: work they valued, interests they pursued, communities they supported, or routines and qualities family members remember.
A focused account is often more meaningful than trying to cover every year.
Consider these prompts as you gather material:
- What did the person enjoy doing in their free time?
- Which roles or commitments mattered most to them?
- What qualities did friends and family often notice?
- Were there places, traditions, or activities that shaped their life?
- What would a reader understand about them after hearing one brief story?
Use specific, verifiable details instead of broad praise alone.
For instance, describing a weekly garden visit or years of volunteering gives readers a clearer picture than calling someone “wonderful” without context.
Keep personal stories respectful and appropriate for a public audience.
Build a clear, readable structure
A simple structure makes the obituary easier to draft and review.
You can rearrange these parts to suit the person’s story, but a familiar order helps readers find key information.
- Opening: State the person’s name and, if desired, the date and place of death.
Keep the wording direct. - Life overview: Share a concise account of meaningful places, education, work, service, interests, or other milestones.
- Personal details: Include a few traits, relationships, or memories that capture the person’s character.
- Family: Name the relatives the family has chosen to mention, using accurate relationships and spellings.
- Service information: Provide details about a funeral, memorial, visitation, or gathering if arrangements are public and confirmed.
- Memorial preferences: Include a requested charity or other memorial preference only after checking the organization’s exact name and any family instructions.
Use short paragraphs and plain language.
Readers may be seeing the information on a phone or looking quickly for service details, so keep those facts easy to locate.
Write with care and respect
Use a tone that sounds like the family and fits the person being remembered.
A formal tone may suit one life; warm, conversational language may suit another.
There is no single correct style, but clarity and kindness help in either case.
- Use the name and pronouns the person used, where known and appropriate.
- Describe relationships in terms the family recognizes.
- Avoid details the family considers private or painful to share publicly.
- Do not add quotations unless the words are authentic, accurately remembered, and approved for publication.
- Keep humor gentle and understandable to readers who may not know the story behind it.
- Ask a family member to review emotionally sensitive phrasing before the draft is shared.
If you are unsure whether a detail belongs, leave it out of the first draft and discuss it with the family.
An obituary can be meaningful without explaining every circumstance of a person’s life or death.
Check the facts before submitting
A careful proofread protects the family from avoidable errors.
Have at least one other person check names, dates, relationships, and arrangements against trusted sources.
Read the text aloud to catch missing words and awkward sentences.
- Verify every name, including spellings, accents, and preferred forms.
- Check dates, ages, locations, titles, and the order of family relationships.
- Confirm service times, addresses, venue names, and any attendance instructions with the organizer.
- Check that a charity or organization is identified correctly before naming it.
- Make sure the draft reflects what the family has agreed to share.
- Save a final copy and confirm the submission format and deadline with the intended outlet.
Publication requirements vary.
If submitting to a newspaper or funeral home, check its word limits, formatting rules, deadlines, and available options directly.
Newspapers set their own rates, so ask the publication for current pricing rather than relying on estimates from another source.
Fictional example and fill-in template
The following is a fictional example.
It does not describe a real person.
Fictional example: “[Full name] of [place] died on [date] at the age of [age]. [Name] spent [number] years working as a [occupation or role] and enjoyed [specific interest].
Friends and family remember [Name] for [verified quality or detail]. [Name] is survived by [relatives the family has chosen to name].
A [service type] will take place at [confirmed location] on [date and time].”
Treat the template as a starting point, not a required formula.
Replace every bracketed item with confirmed information, remove details that do not fit, and have the family review the completed draft before publication.